Many mature couples have found that they could go their separate ways without creating a devastation in the process. By focusing on the issues and avoiding needless confrontation and uncooperativeness, divorce can frequently be completed with less expense and grief, and more quickly, without resorting to the court for hearings and decisions on the issues. This approach is sometimes referred to as "uncontested divorce," "divorce with dignity," "collaborative divorce," "cooperative divorce," or by other terms.

Exploring ways to minimize unnecessary expense and conflict in divorce is one goal of the Hasselbrink Law Office.

In Minnesota, "fault" is no longer at issue. If one party desires to dissolve a marriage which is irretrievably broken, then a divorce will ultimately be granted and each person will be free to marry again. Thus, the parties can concentrate not upon the problems with the relationship, and past wrongs, but upon how to divide up the responsibilities and assets.

What should each party be considering? Here is a short list:

Responsibilities toward the children.

Payment of debts.

Maintaining insurance.

Fairly dividing assets.

There are many techniques for adjusting your perspective. For example, you might try to view divorce as similar to dissolving a business; that is, what have the two of you put together, and how can you fairly divide it up (both the negatives and the positives)?

Another approach might be to focus upon acting toward the other person as you would like him or her to act toward you.

Yet another approach is to undertake joint mediation, in which the true issues can emerge and be explored with the guidance of a trained mediator.

You may feel a need to fully explore your emotions, or perhaps you are ready to "just get the paperwork done."

There are many professionals available to help you and any children meet the personal demands of divorce.

The Role of the Attorney. You may benefit from discussing your situation with at least one attorney who emphasizes cooperative divorce where appropriate. Chances are that you are not fully informed about the options for completing a divorce.

You may not be aware, for example, that you can reach your own private agreement about most, or perhaps all issues, and thereby reduce the role of the judge and court system.

You may be unaware that, in Minnesota at least, "serving the divorce papers" is often unnecessary and only serves to inject hostility at the very beginning of what might be much better handled in a more low-key way.

You may not realize that aggressive tactics will not necessarily lead to a better settlement and may actually be counter-productive.

In my experience, many families can benefit from the "cool-heads" approach offered by an attorney practicing cooperative techniques in divorce. Although the attorney generally cannot "represent" both parties, nonetheless, the attorney can discuss your situation and help you make intelligent choices as you move the process along in a constructive way.

A Final Word Of Information. If you are exploring divorce, you owe it to yourself to consider all the options. Thanks to recent law reforms, today's divorces can often be handled without the expense and conflict that marked divorce in years past. You owe it to yourself and your family to explore the alternatives.

"Inherit the Wind"? I always emphasize that you try to look beyond the current difficult times. Your attorney may be able to help achieve a more satisfactory resolution and also help establish a workable relationship for the future. Engaging in battle may not be the wisest course--neither gaining you more nor providing for a better future.

See our other web pages for more practical information about Marital and Family Law Issues.  HOME PAGE

Never attempt to handle a dissolution without an attorney.

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** ALWAYS HAVE AN ATTORNEY REPRESENT YOU IN THESE IMPORTANT AND COMPLEX MATTERS. **

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GERALD HASSELBRINK, Attorney at Law
of the Minnesota Bar and United States District Court
Qualified Neutral under Minnesota Court Rule 114 for Mediation and Arbitration

INDEPENDENT, CONFIDENTIAL, LEGAL SERVICES
PRACTICING FAMILY LAW AND COOPERATIVE DIVORCE IN CENTRAL MINNESOTA
MEDIATION, ARBITRATION, AND OTHER PRIVATE DISPUTE RESOLUTION THROUGHOUT MINNESOTA

St. Cloud - St. Joseph, Minnesota
Phone (320) 251-0222 | (320) 363-0414

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